There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
