I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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