I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
