You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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