There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
operation harelip BJ is a go
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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