There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize