i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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