I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I just found puke in my bra..
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
