Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
