maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
