Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
She's like a pop up book from hell.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
