Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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