Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
