my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
