Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
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