were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
