wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
