I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
