her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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