I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
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