Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
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