How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
