so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
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