You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize