Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
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