i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Randomize
