I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize