so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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