did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
