Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
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