I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
We need a shit load of segways right now
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
