afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
