Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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