is wine microwaveable?
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
