Swine flu. Run for my life!
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
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