Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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