I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
