it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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