i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
