I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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