I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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