piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
i may or may not be watching the land before time
i love accidental penises.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Randomize
