Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
He shit in the fireplace
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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