God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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