She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Pappa wants mamma naked
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Randomize
