Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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