did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
