His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Randomize
