waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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