that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
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