so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
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