How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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