using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
