any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
