if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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