She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Ladies don't puke and tell
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
