dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Randomize
