need another drink. this is the easiest way
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
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