Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
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